the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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