A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I see more hoeing in ur future
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
