By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
