I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Say something about gay babies.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
