this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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