so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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