I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
