i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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