Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
