i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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