You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
