i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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