she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
