you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
