Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize