You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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