i wish there were pregnant emoticons
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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