Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
