There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
