I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
