They should really pass out barf bags in church
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
