My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
