Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
