somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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