I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize