he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
