Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
