I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
