just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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