Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
