Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
