Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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