Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just gargled with NyQuil
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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