If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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