There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
