sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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