Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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