Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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