It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
