1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
