And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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