she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i dont even know how to be here
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
