The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize