so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize