She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
