My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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