i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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