u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
