she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
