i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she smelled like a LAN party
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
