Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize