you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
