so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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