I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
