I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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