Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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