Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
