i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
