just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
