I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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