I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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