you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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