i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
